Made the decision to pack up my equipment, tools, clothing and everything related to costume design. Oh, and by the way, don’t believe for an instant the “do what you love” SUPER BULLSHIT! Who the fuck even made that shit up!
I carefully crafted two outstanding cover letters for indie features and mailed them weeks ago. Nothing. I should have at least scored an interview!
Equally insulting is the fact that my best friend’s red hot kid is in an indie, also filming in NYC. I asked her if she thought he could put in a good word for me with the director, since he’s “hot” right now. She was like, “this is his first role in a film, maybe the next one. And oh, his co-star probably has a stylist that the director will use.”
Really? As much as I’ve done for him and her. I’ll skip the details but I’ve done what 99% of the rest of the world would NEVER do for them, multiple times. I don’t need a reward but guess what? She /they should have been the one(s) to say, “hey, this is the perfect opportunity for _______. Let’s brainstorm together with her and see how we can help her out. Maybe we can give the director her résumé or slip her his email… Maybe she can help out on set…” I don’t know. Figure it out! I’ve helped figure out their shit for years!
A director and another great film contact won’t return my emails.
All I want to do is get the hell out of here, in the hope that, maybe, with enough begging, the Universe could support me in SOME FUCKING VOCATION!
Exhausted! More tired than I’ve ever been in my life. Riding my Citibike to and from work daily. Working as a sub assistant teacher in a classroom with a teacher who’s ADD, controlling and hyper to boot. She also has a personal issue with math, skipping over the kids’ math lessons each day I’ve been here. Not to mention not counting correctly ! She’s constantly running out of the classroom to make additional photocopies.
Today, I had to talk my way out of helping a little kid in the bathroom. What does that mean? I had to use uber precise language to tell a little kid how to wipe his you-know-what. It was either that or actually do it. I chose the former. Is this why I was put here on Earth? To wipe asses?
On the real, the classroom I was in today was the best one I’ve ever been in. The teacher was outstanding and the curriculum was well rounded, fun and everything related. All I wanted to do was take notes. Maybe there’s a reason I’m doing this.
Anyhoo - I’ve made the ridiculous decision to not go to the movies any more until I get another design job. Why should I pay with no play? Ying, yang, reciprocity… Truth be told, I do feel “some kind of way” that I’m not working in my field. I’m trying not to turn sour… I realize that my state of mind and perception mean everything. I have to keep my head above water to keep from drowning.
Just watched The Nanny Diaries and almost puked. Almost everyday, I teach kids from homes like that. Thank God I don’t interact with their parents!
Anyway, went to my friend’s house deep in the heart of Brooklyn for my birthday. I had to take a DOLLAR VAN (which is really just a car) to get there. I got caught in a downpour and my new boots got wet. But she gave me a card and $50! Whoo-hoo! More mullah for New Hope!
Well, today’s my birthday. I told myself that I wasn’t going to work but I decided to anyway. The money I get from today’s work I’m dedicating to something very specific.
After work I bought a few cooking supplies: a scale„ a knife & a peeler. That made me extremely happy. Then I proceeded to Nordstrom Rack and blew out my card. I bought a pair of boots, two pairs of shoes and two jackets.
I’m looking at today and those purchases and a rebirth. I hope to regain my status as a snazzy dresser. NO MORE WALKING AROUND LOOKING LIKE A TROLL, wearing the same run down Frye boots that I’ve been wearing for the last four years!
And now I’m eating dinner out alone. It’s okay though. Next year, I won’t be alone.
So maddening that people are so short sited! Or, to put it another way, my family is too stupid see me in a positive light. They don’t believe in me anymore. Good. Less ties to cut. I believe in myself and I know things will be very different in the future.
"In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit. Not a nasty, dirty, wet hole, filled with the ends of worms and an oozy smell, nor yet a dry, bare, sandy hole with nothing in it to sit down on or to eat: it was a hobbit-hole, and that means comfort. It had a perfectly round door like a porthole, painted green, with a shiny yellow brass knob in the exact middle…"
English landscape designer Ashley Yates of Torii Gardens built his own cozy Hobbit Hole in the back garden of his home in Bedfordshire. The project began when Yates had to remove a dead apple tree and was followed by 4 months of construction work which took place over the course of a year, The finished Hobbit Hole features its own electric system, air conditioning, timber-clad interior, custom upholstered furniture, a kitchenette, built-in shelving and storage, a built-in sound system and space for a future movie screen and projection system, a beautiful front garden and more.
The response to Ashley’s project has been so positive that Torii Gardens is now considering requests for custom Hobbit Holes:
"I am willing to consider Hobbit Holes alongside our usual sanctuary/landscape designs. Whether you have a vision or not, we can design, create and bring to life anything you can imagine - the more outlandish the better!"