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Tricky Trick’s Trick

About to puke!  The feature I did two years ago was released.  Just seeing the director in the photos almost caused me to throw up.  It makes me sick in my gut and in my soul.  This person is one of the main reasons I stopped going to church and sidelined Christianity.  The hypocrisy was untenable.  Normally I would be happy about such a public premiere for a film I designed but I just feel like —- yuck!

I checked out some crew member’s facebook pages and apparently, they were in the dark, as I was, about the premiere.  Of course. Selfish trick!

There’s Always One

There’s always one super insecure actor who needs to tweak the hell out of his costume I order to feel in control of his role. I hate that! IMHO, an actor should be able to act in a garbage bag and still pull off a stellar role.

I just had an actor refuse to not wear his lucky f’in boots and lucky shoe laces. Every fuckin’ day, he stops by the wardrobe dept. to “give me ideas.” He’s completely oblivious to viewers. It’s all about what will “help him.” Really? Nothing, mofo! NOTHING!

Christian Interns

Touchy topic.  Three people, who wanted to intern, declined after reading the script for the film I’m designing.  There’s a lot of violence and profanity in the script.  It doesn’t reflect Christian values.

Honestly, in my Christian hey day, I probably would have done the same thing.  But now, my jaded view is, there’s violence and profanity (well, really, mayhem) happening in my body, as evidenced by my illness.  My body is supposed to be a holy sanctuary but clearly, it’s not and the powers that be really don’t seem to give a good damn (as evidenced by the amount of time I’ve spent on my knees praying about it).  So really, it just doesn’t make a damn bit of difference.  We live in a fucked up world, that is never going to change.  I’m not a fucked up person because of what’s happening with my body  and no outside influence is going to make me a bad person.

I dunno…  Maybe this isn’t logical.  Maybe I’m making excuses.  It’s hard to express my thoughts.  Life is short and a lot of things that I thought mattered, clearly don’t.

I work on casting and I brought some clients in, We are beautiful girls, His main client was there that night and I was invited to the table where they ordered 16 bottles of champagne and the owner Brian was offering them skinny/model looking but very drugged Hookers. Met the owner who seemed nice at first but realized the nature of his business when He proposed to my girls to become house hookers, not knowing they are actually from TV! I was embarassed for my clients, never go to this place unless you are a escort’s client or a hooker.

Anonymous quote from a review of the club where the film I am designing is shooting.  

Wow!  This is news to me.  No wonder the vibe of the people who work there is so weird - - yuck!  Somebody get me some rubbing alcohol!


I’m thinking that maybe I have gastritis. That’s inflammation caused by any number if factors, including, food poisoning, medicines and bile flowing into the stomach.

I got food poisoning when I was in Africa. Then I abused the medicine I got for it by taking it for a sinus infection. Lastly, I think bile may be flowing into my stomach to assist digestion b/c I don’t have the proper digestive enzymes.

On Saturday, I ate a small raw potato. All hell broke loose. In the past, raw potatoes have helped me tremendously! In my mind, it was yet another beneficial thing that I can no longer eat. It probably increased the need for digestive enzymes, which I’m low on.

This most recent episode happened, I think, because I fasted on cantaloupe and other fruit smoothies for a few days and then ate some raw aloe the next day. I’m wondering now if the cantaloupe lowered the acidity in my stomach too much? Then I wasn’t able to digest the aloe and the inflammation started.

I am also thinking that maybe the clicking I near in my nose and my chronic sore throat are from inflammation. Inflammation that has spread from my stomach. I bought a bunch of supplements and immediately started taking Slippery Elm capsules and liquid silver colloidal. I feel much better. My sore throat is gone. There’s still a little clicking at night but I missed a dose of the Slippery Elm.

Once again, I’m going to have to overhaul my diet. I plan to eat only easily digestible foods: boiled chicken with the skin cut off, ripe bananas, plain pasta, avocados, boiled potatoes, poached salmon and goat cheese. Grains make my stomach hurt unless it’s my risotto with goat cheese. Beans also make my stomach hurt unless it’s humus or Lima beans with feta cheese. It sucks to go back to a super restrictive diet but I need to keep the inflammation down.

It turns out that my GI appointment is tomorrow. Great! I know the doctor is going to want to prescribe some medication based on speculation. I’m not having it and I’m not taking it. AFTER the tests come back, I’ll see about medication. I read online many accounts of people taking medication that didn’t work or made things worse. I just need a diagnosis based on facts from tests.

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